I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
