yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
