Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
