My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
