i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
