Do you still have your period?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
