Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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