Just cropdusted the office
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
