And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
