I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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