Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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