I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
