Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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