apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
