I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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