If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
