This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
