We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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