allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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