I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't put those talents on a resume
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
