I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize