I CAN MOONWALK!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
