Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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