it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
