she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
