I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize