with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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