I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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