So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
