I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
