hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
