just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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