Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
