hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
that may or may not have been my penis.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
