Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize