I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
