That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
