I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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