worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize