i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm both gender and math confused
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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