I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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