watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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