1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
