His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
