My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need water and some morals
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
