i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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