It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
