who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
