im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
