I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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