i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish you could order shots online.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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