He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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