fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I party with great urgency now.
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