I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
