After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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