There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize