is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize