Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
