that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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