I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
