Got a toothbrush?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
