A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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