i think my tv is drunk
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
